In five seconds, this made me feel like a better parent

 

If you've ever seen the movie "Trumbo", it's easy to visualize my husband's nighttime routine. Every evening, he takes up to three baths, each with several of his favorite newspapers in tow. He usually summons me when he comes across something interesting that's worth sharing, and last night was no different: 

"Laura, have you ever heard of attachment parenting?" he shouted from the bathroom. 

Well, that's a new one, I thought to myself.

"Yes, I have. Why?" I asked, silently wondering what are we doing wrong? 

"Well, we're just doing such a great job!"

"Huh?"

"Yeah! It's all about how important the first year of a baby's life is, and how important it is for a baby to feel loved and cared for. Selma is so loved!" 

"I thought you were about to tell me we need to trick Selma into thinking I didn't give up on breastfeeding after four weeks." 

"Not where I was going," he responded. "I'm just so proud of us!" 

I assumed Ben was going to tell me we needed to move Selma back into our bedroom, and that I would have to quit my job and basically sit hugging her until she turns one. It turns out I didn't have to change anything to be a "good", attached parent. Well, nothing except my perspective.

How many times a day do I read articles like this and either a. call my husband in a parenting panic or b. continue my silent meltdown in the parenting section of Barnes and Noble? How much easier would it be if I just looked at things differently, if I just decided I was doing a great job?

I'd say most of us are working really hard at being great parents without realizing that we already are great parents. The feeling we're looking for is one of satisfaction with ourselves, relief that we've finally found the answers. But here's the thing: our search is endless because we already have most of the answers we're frantically searching for.  They're inside of us.

So next time that article on the "latest research" in parenting pops up on your Facebook feed and you get that familiar knot in your stomach, or you find yourself convinced that whatever childcare you've employed for your kiddo will just cost you your salary later in child therapy, think of how you might feel if you looked at yourself like you were doing a great job already. Instead of working tirelessly to change ourselves, perhaps it might be easier if we just change the way we look at ourselves.

Ah, that's better.  

xoxo laura max rose-01.png