On pregnancy and taking up more space
A few months ago, I was looking down at my legs and noticed my thighs were about twice the size they were when I first found out I was pregnant. You could say my reaction was rather atypical when I said to Ben "you know, I am so much bigger now, but I really love it. I feel like I take up a lot more space. It feels good to take up all this space!"
Then, of course, I found out I'd gained about ten pounds that month and was less than thrilled (numbers always get to me, hence why I don't keep a scale in the house.) For a few weeks I wore big clothes and tried to hide everything from everyone but somewhere along the way I lost interest in wearing the garment equivalents of large trash bags. I'm not a big bag of trash, I'm carrying a human!
As I mentioned, I don't really like numbers, so I always ask Ben to look at the scale at my doctor's appointments so I don't have to know what I weigh (I figure he'll tell me if there's some kind of emergency...) This last visit, I got brave and asked him to tell me the number after my visit. "I'm gigantic!" I said when he nodded that one of my very HIGH guesses was correct.
"But I love you like this!" he said. "There's so much more Laura!"
And there is.
I must say, I'm actually going to miss all this Laura (and maybe it will stay. People say it's water weight but they don't know how much ice cream I've had...) My point: why are we so hard on ourselves about this? Why is it so unacceptable, as a woman, to take up more space? If I can be just one person in the world who's excited about it, who's proud that, as Ali Wong recently said in her stand up routine "I'm growing an Eyeball in here!", then maybe that will make one more expanding woman proud of all the space she takes up. Getting bigger doesn't always have to be so terrifying. In fact, there's a reason why you get so much bigger when you're pregnant: you're doing a very, very BIG thing. So don't wear a trash bag. You're growing a miracle.